Home and Away review: Dean goes in for another last-ditch attempt to win his girlfriend back

 

I may have missed an entire week of episodes while I was camping in the wilderness but thanks to the beauty of the Home and Away scriptwriters — which tend to spell everything out for you — I’m not lost in the slightest.

Now that Dean’s bestie, Colby, has been sent to jail for the rest of his life at the hands of his other bestie Willow, Dean has no friends.

He is desperate to get his ex-girlfriend, Ziggy back so he doesn’t die alone, but he reeks of desperation — and probably beer.

He’s also pretty jealous that Tane and his massive arms still seem to be hanging around the garage so I’m going to assume he hasn’t been fired — not because he’s not a mechanic — but because they are so short staffed even a crim who uses you as a drug mule will do.

Ziggy has clearly been rattled by Dean’s very inebriated plea to win her back.

“I just wish Dean would leave me alone but I can barely keep my head above water as it is,” she says to Tane.

Dean is back on the beers again. It appears to be the morning.

Tane goes over to get Ziggy’s “dodgy ex off her back”.

Dean starts getting all philosophical and compares his own circumstances about being a lost puppy dog, to Ziggy taking Tane in and giving him a job.

Dean isn’t thrilled and tells Mac, his sister, to get the Paratas to “rack off”. I haven’t heard this phrase in quite some time but I love it.

Anyway because this is Summer Bay, day-drunk Dean and Ziggy run into each other and Zig has a thing or two to get off her chest.

“This is not how our friendship is going to work,” Ziggy says to Dean.

He doesn’t like the word “friendship” and is disheartened and gets back on the beers.

Mac cuts him off but it’s all good because Dean is going to find another bar that won’t cut him off…not sure where that might be though.

He sets off in the car for Mangrove River and that’s the last of him for the night.

Next up is the continuing saga of the Paratas and the baseball gang.

I did see the bit last week when Mac literally said the debt has been settled and they don’t need to worry anymore because she gave the gang her Porsche but Paul has another job.

Just a quiet sidebar — where did Mac get a Porsche from? I know she’s made out to be this rich city girl but she only owns a small regional bar so where did she get that kind of money from?

Paul and the other guy meet Ari and Tane in the bushes somewhere. It has much more coverage than all the places where Taylor and Colby had their romps in the bushes.

The gang want them to undertake an armed robbery but Ari tells them who’s boss and says he’ll tell the cops.

The head thug leaves in the flash new car and the Parata boys look way too pleased with themselves and assume far too early that it’s all over.

Back at the house Ari gets a text and promptly hands Nikau a wad of cash to get him out of the house for the night which must mean they are going to take on the armed robbery for the thugs although Ari looks ridiculously calm.

But Nikau can smell a rat…and it’s not Dean’s stank.

Finally John is boasting about his date with a lady on a “dating application”.

He’s taking her somewhere special — to Salt of course but it’s quite frankly the only option and we’ll have to wait until next time to see how that goes.

But don’t worry — he doesn't wear his lifesaving gear.